Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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