where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
