you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
