last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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