i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
