The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Im part way to drunk.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
