and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
