As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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