I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
