love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
