Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize