dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
