I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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