It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
