i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
