This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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