Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
