So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
