I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize