She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
