Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
