I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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