meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
