I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
