I accidentally burped into my bong.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
