I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
