those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
