Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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