i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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