just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
