good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
