Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize