I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
