Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize