Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
