I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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