How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
