she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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