rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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