So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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