I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
