I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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