just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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