Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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