South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize