He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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