I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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