shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
