idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
