how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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