Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex

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(319): View more from Iowa

umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do

(1-319): View more from Iowa

put a dollar in it?

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(949): View more from California

you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."

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(479): View more from Arkansas

yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

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(404): View more from Georgia

I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.

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(847): View more from Illinois

So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.

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(903): View more from Texas

Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat

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