and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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