I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
