let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
