You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
