for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The best revenge is premature balding
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize