I hate all girls vehemently.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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