the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
