in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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