you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize