Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
