i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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