8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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