Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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