No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
did you just send me my own nude
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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