He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
