matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
