I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
