You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
