we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
