last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
