i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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