Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
birth control should be required to get into college
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize