There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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