It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
this hospital has no fireball
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
