Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
